Of Fathers and Sons

If there's one thing you need to know about me, and my Facebook and Twitter feeds will show this, is I love my boys. Unabashedly, unconditionally, and I will brag constantly on them. I'm proud of them and I don't give a crap what people think about that. My one big regret is that my boys will never know their grandfather.

It's hard to believe, but it will be 11 years in May since my dad died. I am trying to live up to him, hoping he'd be proud of me. You know in The Lion King, when Simba puts his paw in Mufasa's paw print, and it's dwarfed? Yeah, that's how I feel. Like I have some big ass shoes to fill. And believe me, I do. (which is ironic, because my dad had small feet for his height)

When dad died, you know how many people actually saw me break down and cry? Two. Steph, and my mom. The rest of the family I hid it from. They were all in major denial and someone had to be the strong take charge one. Why? Because I know dad would have done the same thing.

My dad was many things, and one of them was a prankster. Gee, wonder where I got that from, eh? He and I would pull shit on each other all the time, often times causing embarrassment to each other. But, it was funny, dammit. This is one of the better ones he pulled on me.

This also happened to be the story I told at his funeral. Giving the eulogy, seeing everyone sad and some in tears, what'd I do? Figured I'd do what dad would have done. Ignore the sad crap and try and lift up everyone's spirit. So, that's what I did.

I was about 16, my girlfriend had just broken up with me, and I was a depressed, sullen teenager. We were coming home from a day at the beach and the surf, and pulled into the Poway, CA Burger King drive thru. We place our order and pull up to the window.

The girl pokes her head out to take the money. She was about the same age, blond and cute. Dad looks at her, looks at me and says, and this is verbatim, "What time do you get off of work? My son's girlfriend broke up with him and he needs a date." She just looked at him, and I tried my damnedest to crawl through the floorboards to hide under the car. She never appeared again. The manager came back to give us our food. We left. My dad looked down at me and just gave me his crooked shit-eating grin. Incidentally, I have the same crooked shit-eating grin, just on the opposite side. Kept copying him as a baby.

So, there it is. One example of how I am who I am because of him. (Jeeze, I sounded like Popeye almost there) Am I going to embarrass my boys? Oh, without a doubt. That's a dad's job. Will they get me back? Yep, because that's their job. And, thus, the Circle of Life continues....